What does LOVE look like?

In Anlehnung an die wunderbare Rupi Kaur, ein Selbstversuch.

What does LOVE look like?

I don’t know how to answer that question,

except for the fact that I thought LOVE

would look so much like you…

How ignorant I was to think I could place an idea

so beautiful

onto the image of a single person…

As if LOVE,

a feeling that contains the power of making 8 billion people on this earth act completely and entirely irrational for reasons no one can fully comprehend,

could be represented by

one

ordinary human!

As if LOVE

a feeling so intense

could be locked up in a box with a scrawny written nametag on it,

provided with the looks of a five foot male, black hair, brown eyes with incredibly long eyelashes, distinctive nose and hipster socks.

What does LOVE look like?

Honestly,

I thought, LOVE looks like him.

But I was wrong.

I don´t think

LOVE is him

anymore.

If LOVE was him, he would be here with me, wouldn´t he?

If he would be the one for me, wouldn´t he be the one sitting next to me,

Holding my hand,

squeezing tight, encouragingly,

Holding me upright,

Instead of tearing me down?

I don´t think LOVE is him anymore,

I REPEAT,

LOVE isn’t him anymore,

over and over,

Until I believe,

until I see,

In fact,

that LOVE… he never was!

I think I just wanted to feel something bigger than myself,

Wanted, needed someone to belong with myself, and when

someone came around with all the attention focused on me…

I let myself crash for the illusion,

headfirst into the wall,

and made it my very intention to make him mine,

my partner in crime.

And I lost myself to him.

He took,

and he took…

wrapping me in a sugary coated blanket,

sticky and sweet from honeybees,

telling me

What I wanted, so desperately needed to hear,

While he took,

and he took

Oh,

how he emptied me!

And I gave myself up, lost myself to him.

Believing those white little lies he fed me

like nectar to a starving caterpillar devoid of wings, dreadfully dependant by mistake,

Forgetting, she was destined to be flying free!

Instead, I was falling,

drowning for his empty promises he was never gonna be able to keep,

To start with!

And how does that make me feel?

Has he ever wondered where that would leave me?

I don’t think so.

Because even though he promised, he never called,

and it makes me feel like shit.

I don’t think LOVE

would do that to a person.

I don’t think LOVE

would want that for a person.

So LOVE

most definitely can´t be him.

Maybe, I looked at the whole thing wrong.

Maybe, I need to change direction, switch into another perception

of perspective,

Trying to be more objective.

Maybe, instead of starting with somebody else,

I need to start with myself.

Maybe, LOVE has many faces kept hidden under numerous layers.

Maybe, there´s different kinds of love.

Maybe, LOVE doesn´t look like one person, but is shown

Rather in our actions.

So

what is LOVE?

LOVE is unconditional and absolute, without any doubts or games, just true.

LOVE is easy and light,

The way out of darkness,

back into the light.

LOVE is helping others without expecting something in return,

It is knowing to possess the power to hurt one another,

But doing everything in their power to make sure we don´t!

LOVE is sharing without fear,

Giving, without greed.

LOVE is selfless and kind. It is accepting and understanding,

LOVE does not judge or hold back.

LOVE is knowing that, loving myself means I won´t settle for less than perfect.

So,

if someone steps into your life,

Saying all the things you want to hear…

But their actions seem like obstacles

in your path, growing taller with every step you take towards them,

Making you doubt yourself,

stumble and fall,

Fearful and small…

If they seem to break you, rather than build you…

Well..

Then LOVE

is knowing

who to choose.

And maybe you´ll find,

That LOVE and I

Might look a lot alike,

Likewise,

It might be my face you´ll see,

Everyday in the mirror,

Broadly smiling back at me.

-L.R.